A Personal Note

Processed with VSCO with c1 presetI just want to say a little something. Before this year, I had never really struggled with depression or loneliness or hopelessness. I was always the motivated, ambitious girl with a smile on her face and a certainty that her future was bright. I hate to admit it, but when I used to encounter other people with problems like depression or anxiety, I would secretly think to myself, “Can’t they just shake it off?”

Well, never again.

This year has taught me so much about empathy. Over the last few months I have often felt like I just can’t connect deeply with people. They are all around me– on the train, in the coffee shop, at work– but I felt unable to reach out in any meaningful sense. This made me lonely in a new, profound way. And this loneliness led to depression. There were many other factors (ahem, bad winter weather, I’m looking at you!), but it was heavy. Really heavy.

I lost motivation for a long time. I struggled to do even little things like cook a healthy meal or send an important email. And if I could barely do those things, how could I possibly have a bright future?!  I deleted my Instagram because I didn’t know how to respond to people’s comments on my photos like “You’re living the dream! I’m so jealous!” when in reality I felt so bad. Then I would feel bad about feeling bad! It was a negative cycle.

Now that’s I’m feeling so so much better for a myriad of reasons, I just wanted to share this little piece of my story in the hopes that maybe it might help someone out there reading. I now have so much more empathy and compassion for

Foreigners

People who just moved to a new place

Refugees

Lonely people

Those who are going through a breakup of any kind

People who just started a new job

Recent graduates who are disoriented

Singles who just want someone to do fun things with

People struggling with depression, anxiety, chronic stress, etc.

People grieving

Language learners

The list goes on! It is so cliche to say that you can’t truly understand something until you’ve gone through it yourself. But in my case, I think the cliche holds true. I am sending love, encouragement and hope to anyone out there going through something heavy today. Thank you all for reading along this year. It means a lot to me.

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P.s. Photos from London, where I visited a friend 🙂


6 thoughts on “A Personal Note

  1. Ah, my dear Micah, you are learning so much. I am thankful you said you are feeling better! Your honesty and, I hope, any help or encouragement you are getting will serve you well. Interestingly, studies do reveal that any transition time (such as your examples) are stressful even when you are unaware of that possibility. God bless you and know you absolutely are loved and cared for by so many. Hopefully I will see you when you return to the US! I do send much love and some prayers, too. Grandma Susan

  2. I really can understand you. Living the life or whatever people may think/see/believe when they see blogs, vlogs or any other kind of social media can be so detrimental if you’re struggling to jump out of bed on some days. The things you mentioned are some of the toughest we deal with that also happen with just about everyone. We all need a little more kindness in the world. Sending you love and good wishes! 🙂

  3. Thank you for sharing some of the struggles in your journey Micah. Please know you are loved and cherished, even though it can feel lonely out there. I can heartily agree that the hardest years of my life have been the ones that have most shaped me and prepared for the work I am doing now. God bless you my friend. Sending some SoCal love and prayers your way!

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