Chances are we’re all familiar with the idea of a soul mate– the one person out there who was made to fit you perfectly. I’ve been thinking a lot about this concept recently, particularly as it pertains to romance, so I thought I’d interview a few friends and family members to get their take. Their answers were fascinating. Here’s what they said:
No. There is no perfect person out there for you, just like there is not a perfect college or job out there for you. Even if you seem to be made for each other, there is no magic potion for a life of true love and happiness. Relationships will always be about work and compromise. You can make a marriage thrive with many different well picked spouses. The dynamics of the relationship will differ but the formula is the same.
Yes and no. I believe that there are multiple soul mates for everyone. The idea that there is only one soul mate in your whole life is scary and daunting. I think those kind of relationships do exist though.
No, I don’t believe in soul mates. I don’t think there’s a single person you’re destined to be with, I think factors such as emotional preparedness and proximity play huge roles in who ends up in our lives. I think the idea of marrying your soulmate is overly romanticized and idealized.
Yes, I do. But I don’t believe in immediate soul mates, it’s something that develops slowly over time. You become soul mates by living life together. There’s a difference between chemistry and experience.
Yes I do! I believe that soul mates exist in more than just the romantic sense that most people imagine. I think friends and family can be soul mates too. If there is someone who I feel that I connect with on levels that are more than just on the surface of friendship; or even more than that, if I think that I can be utterly and intimately vulnerable with that person, and they can do the same, that there is a good chance our souls are a match for each other. My closest and most valued friends I consider my soul mates because when I am with them not only do I feel I can be myself fully, but there literally is a happiness the fills up my heart because not only does their presence give me joy but also the knowledge that whatever I say or do will be understood.
I don’t believe that romantically there is exactly one person with whom you’re meant to spend the rest of you life, the emphasis on ‘meant to’ because it suggests some kind of predestination. Thinking that allows us to say, “It’s okay if I’m not actively pursuing anyone because it will just happen when it’s supposed to.”
Personally, I don’t believe in soul mates. Although I am married and can’t imagine spending my life with someone other than my husband, I think the idea that he is the only person on the earth on the earth who is a good match for me is slightly ridiculous. Someone else in our global society might be a good match for me in a different way, but I’m not going anywhere to find out. I’m married to my first love and best friend.
I like fairytales, so it’s fun for me to imagine the perfect guy. But I also realistically know that no one is perfect. Every guy will have things you don’t necessarily love about them, but that doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t awesome! So no, I don’t believe in one soul mate because no one is perfect, but there’s multiple people you can live happily with.
I do believe in soul mates. But it doesn’t have to be a spouse, it could be a friend who just get’s you. No explanation needed on certain levels. It doesn’t have to be an immediate connection either, you can grow into it over time.
No, I think there could be several people out there for you. You can’t be destined for just one. When someone’s spouse dies, they often find a new person with a love just as great as the first, just different.
I think I believe there’s someone for everyone (like everyone can find a person that’s right for them) but I don’t necessarily believe that there’s just one person who can be that for you. There are too many people out there for there to literally be just one soul mate.
I do believe in soul mates. In fact, every person has more than one soulmate. It is true that in any romantic relationship one must choose to love the other person every day. However I do not think that means that any couple can make a perfect match if they just work hard enough. That is what makes love so hard to find. Compatibility is limited and only so many guys out there would be right for me…but they are out there. In fact, I’m dating one of them right now. So do I believe in soul mates? You bet. I love you, Parker ❤
Aren’t these people wise (and sweet)? Thanks so much for your thoughtful responses!
As for me, I’ve decided (drum roll please) I don’t believe in soul mates! Like many, I think there is any number of people out there who can make you happy in unique ways. At least where romance is concerned, I take comfort in the idea that if you pick the ‘wrong person’ you’re not screwed, or that if the person you’re with dies/leaves you’re not doomed to be alone. You may grow so close to your current partner that it eventually feels like you were perfectly made for one another, but that can only been realized with time and effort. So while the idea may be romantic, it doesn’t hold up for me. But I do love the idea of platonic soul mates, friends or family members who get you on a guttural, almost spiritual level. I certainly have a few of those already 🙂
But I want to know you’re thoughts as well, do you believe in soul mates?P.s. Thanks again to all my interviewees!